Does Korean beef make people happy?
Korean beef makes me happy. Ponder that statement for a minute, it’s true but is it something you would normally say to a stranger in a fine dining restaurant? Probably not, but to make matters worse would you say it on camera for a national television program? Insert facepalm emoji here. Let’s take a step back shall we and I can paint you a cringeworthy picture.
I like to visit fine dining restaurants in most cities abroad, it’s a treat to look forward to when planning vacations. While I was planning our trip to Korea I had completed some desktop research and decided to make a booking at Michelin star restaurant Ryunique in Seoul. Their Japanese-French fusion menu looked amazing and all reviews were impressive, plus you could book online in advance which is always a bonus for international travellers, in a predominantly non-English speaking country.
Disclaimer: This post is not meant to be a review of the restaurant although I will describe it in part. But if I was to rate it, it would be up there on one of the best dining experiences we’ve had across the globe and I’ve been lucky enough to visit some renowned restaurants over the years. The whole experience was stellar, and the food was incredible. This post is to describe a rather embarrassing experience through no one’s fault but my own.
I was having a rather interesting night from memory and some of my styling decisions were questionable, but I had entered a place I couldn’t claw it back from. I had hit the dry shampoo a little too hard, I used gel on a whim to style my hair in some form of ‘swept-off-my-face-but-out’ style, and I experimented with makeup that I know didn’t suit my features or overall style. The point is I wasn’t feeling on top of my game but that will never stop me! A learning to stop for 15 minutes and plan first in future.
We arrived at Ryunique and everything was off to a wonderful start, they explained their hybrid approach to food and had a quaint handout to visually represent the different regions of Korea the food is sourced from. Each course was stunning in both taste and presentation and all the employees were very helpful and accommodating of my seafood intolerance – it really was a true fine dining experience.
Plating magic at Ryunique
The fun begins
About five courses into our tasting menu, and perhaps a little too far into our bottle of red wine (first or second, I’ll leave that up to you to guess!), our waiter advised us that there was some filming occurring for a television program on KBS and whether we minded if the producer filmed near us. I’m not sure whether I misinterpreted her, but I assumed she meant shooting some B-Roll footage near us for their segment, but that’s not exactly what transpired. We soon found ourselves eating our next course with a camera filming us – this is what nightmares are made of for awkward people like myself. Here’s a couple of things you should know about me before I describe the hell I was about to live through:
I get next-level nervous on camera, it’s been that way since I remember. I can’t work out where to look, I can’t remember how to talk let alone answer questions logically, all I can usually manage is a goofy smile and whatever nervous tendency I have a penchant for at the time immediately comes out on repeat.
I have a phobia of people watching me eat, it’s something I haven’t had too much trouble with recently and it’s usually a thing that flares up around people I don’t know but still it’s there.
I am an uncoordinated, awkward person at the best of times – especially when I try not to be. The harder I try not to spill something the worse I make it.
Wine doesn’t help any of the above-mentioned facts.
2 bottles of wine didn’t help.
Pre-dinner drinks didn’t help either.
Pre-dinner drinks, ‘drinks’ in the hotel room….you get the point I was tipsy
Let’s not forget how awkward I was feeling presentation wise, I think I had already been to the bathroom seven times to review the hair and makeup situation – I really could have done without the poor styling being recorded on film. As soon as the camera was pointed at my way I started over analysing everything, thoughts started popping into my mind along the lines of ‘how do normal people chew their food’? I calmly and carefully tried to neatly pick up a spoonful of food and eat like a classy human. Clearly, I was aiming too high as what I actually did was shakily shove a mouthful of food into my mouth. As I was chewing (with my mouth closed of course) a piece of radish managed to defy physics, and my dignity, and fell out of my mouth and onto my plate. The lovely producer giggled, and I tried to move on with remembering how to eat.
After he had finished filming me eat my radish for the second time I thought it was all over, but he came back for the next course, a beautifully cooked duck breast. The duck was cooked perfectly, one of the best I’ve ever tried actually. But again in an effort to look classy – heck at this point let’s be realistic, in an effort to look like a normal human who knows how to eat food, I managed to cut a piece that was too large to fit in my mouth properly. There was no turning back though, what does one do in this situation normally? The producer filmed me for what felt like an eternity, I’m not joking I was chewing this poor duck for about 10 minutes and he NEVER. STOPPED. FILMING. My inner monologue at this point was along the lines of ‘oh god, why am I still chewing? Make it stop, why is he filming this? This can’t be interesting’. I can’t be certain as the night was a bit of a blur, but I think he laughed at me again – I had mentally blacked out at this point. I don’t blame him for laughing at me by the way, I did laugh too I mean what else could I do I had already established that eating was not within my skillset so all I could do was laugh at it.
Then came the interview. He started with Matt, who bless him, doesn’t have the best memory so he fumbled his way through describing the type of cuisine we were eating – Korean fusion was the best he could manage but to his credit he hadn’t selected the restaurant and was put on the spot. The producer gave up rather quickly and to my absolute horror moved on to me. This was my time to show off just how goofy I can be – there was nervous laughter, weird eye contact (thoughts at this stage: where do I look please god, tell me where am I supposed to look?), sentences were formed as if English wasn’t my first language and my nervous tendency at the time was on display to the maximum – hair flipping, I couldn’t stop weirdly running my fingers through my cement styled hair. The producer was actually a really nice guy and he guided me through the conversation, he did want me to say the word ‘Michelin restaurant’ a few times which I am sure was important to the segment, although at that point perhaps he was just teaching me to speak English.
As he left I remember feeling the biggest sense of relief, never again will I need to be in front of a camera – I know my place in this world and that is definitely not one of them. But the relief was short-lived, he came back! But this time it was less about me thankfully, and we got to meet Chef Tae Hwan Ryu as they filmed him presenting us with the main course – 4 ways of Beef Hanwoo. It was a pleasure albeit for the television program, it was nice to meet such a renowned chef. I was still awkward during this part, don’t worry.
The fun continues
The producer came back for round three, round five if you count the eating filming. I am thinking blooper reel footage at this point, he asked me some more questions, none of which I can remember. What I do remember is how fun the producer was, he was such a happy person laughing (with me, with me – who am I kidding it was at me!) and smiling the whole time. At one point I felt a little more at ease and was smiling and laughing as well, largely because that sort of energy tends to rub off on me. And I had probably sunk an army tank in booze by this point…
The happy producer with an awkward subject
The producer commented on how much of a happy person he thought I was and asked me why I was so happy – this my friends, is where I went into the black hole. I honestly couldn’t think of a single, normal thing to say – anything would have been better than what I said, in fact saying nothing and more awkward staring would have been the best approach at that point. I do recall I had the thought ‘it’s because you are happy it’s making me happy’ but all versions of that phrase in my mind were seemingly patronising and with the language barrier I didn’t want to offend him, he seemed too nice. To my horror I excruciatingly mumbled the words ‘Korean Beef makes me happy’. Seriously who says that? And think of all the double entendres – or am I the only person with a suspicious mind?
He asked me to repeat it as he didn’t quite understand so I confidently repeated the lamest thing I’ve ever said with a smile on my face ‘Korean Beef makes me happy’. It seemed to resonate with the happy producer, whether it’s because Koreans take pride in their local produce (please god let that be true) or whether he really did think he struck ‘blooper reel’ gold.
Reflections
A couple of things remain true for me as I reflect on this interesting experience:
I’m still a dork on camera.
Ryunique is one of the best restaurants I’ve been to in the world – please visit if you are in Seoul! I’ve been back 4 times now.
I’ve learned to live with my awkward statement and Korean Beef does in fact make me happy, so do the fun-loving people of Korea - yes you, happy producer!
I should wash my hair more often.
No one will ever see this footage – I have the producer’s business card but I have never inquired about my 5 mins of fame in Korea, I would just prefer not to know. We all know the radish flying out of my mouth made it….tv segment gold!
